Gary Gardner (grgardner) wrote,
Gary Gardner

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I hate Florida

OK, maybe that's a bit strong.  But  I just don't get how people can live here in the summer.  It's 90 degrees, and 100% humidity.  It's like being in a gym steam bath all day long.  And maybe I'm just bitchy from the flight and drive here.  I had to fly into Orlando, since I couldn't get any non-stop First Class seats to Miami.  The flight I was on was full of young families on their way to the colicky baby convention at Disney World.  I swear it was a nursery school bus.  Even though I was in First Class, there was no "wall" separating us from steerage class, and right behind me was a woman with not one but TWO toddlers, and one baby in a basket.  You know I would pay extra for a "non children" flight.  Hint to all the airlines out there, I'm not alone.  Either that, or they should require babies to be stored in the overhead bin.

But before I even got on the flight, I was running late to the airport, and misread the gate number because I didn't have my glasses on, so I made the flight with just 10 minutes to spare.  And after five hours of screaming kids, I was ready to get off and rush to get the rental car.  Naturally, the rental cars are 20 miles off site via shuttle bus.  I get the car, program the GPS for the hotel in Miami and head out.  I have a gut sense I'm going the wrong way, but in Florida you can't tell because 1) it's flat as a pancake and no way to get landmarks, and 2) all you see is swamp land on either side of the freeway.  Unless of course you are on a city street where you see a strip mall, a Wallgreens, another strip mall, a CVS pharmacy, another strip mall....

The GPS didn't want to put me on the toll road, so it took me on a 35 mile loop around Orlando first rather than directly down to Miami via the toll road.  Once I found the turnpike and got on it, the damn GPS kept telling me to get off and return to the freeway.  I ignored it.

Three hours later I get to Miami, starving and with a killer headache.  I step out of the car at the hotel and feel like I walked into the steam room at the gym, only there are no naked men standing around.

So again, I ask, what is it about Florida that has people moving here in droves?  It's not pretty to look at, the weather is awful, and several times a year you get blown to bits in a hurricane.  Go figure...

None the less, I'm quite psyched about tomorrow.  We just got back from picking up the bikes at the Miami Harley Dealer where they had been shipped, and riding back to the hotel, even though it was hotter than hell, was nice in my sleeveless shirt.   Highway 1 down to Key West is nothing short of magical on a motorcycle -- 130 miles of bridges and island hopping.  This picture was taken on a trip two years ago, and I've been dreaming of this ride ever since. 


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