Gary Gardner (grgardner) wrote,
Gary Gardner

Wild HOGs Redux

If you saw the movie "Wild HOGS" about a bunch of white-collar guys who are weekend bikers, and the trouble they get into on a road trip that lands them in a hard-ass biker bar you will see the similarities of our adventure last night.
  You know I'm a lobbyist/political consultant.  My friend Randy is a Microsoft Programmer.  His friend Eric is a Botanist.  And our friend Andre is a Starbucks Barrista.  Pretty white collar.  All of us are pretty serious bikers though, putting lots of miles on our bikes and enjoying riding.  Add to this mix my colleague and friend Rich, who is recently divorced and about a mild-mannered telecom attorney as you could get.  Rich called me up a month ago and said he wanted to start riding and would I take him bike shopping.  We set a date and went to Downtown HD and I hooked him up with my buddy Vik who after a couple of visits, got him outfitted with a used Sportster 883 - the smallest bike Harley makes.  We all are betting however that within a year Rich will be trading up to a bigger bike, but I digress.  So Rich has been practicing and we decide to take him out to the infamous Taco Thursday out in far SE King County at a hard-core biker bar called the City Hall Saloon in Cumberland, WA.  We all meet up at the XXX Drive Inn in Issaquah last night to head out on a nice 40 mile ride on backroads out to Cumberland in an effort to recreate Wild HOGs.

We have a few more than in the movie, but I figure that I'm the Tim Allen character, Randy, (behind me) is the John Travolta Character, Andre in the back left is the Martin Lawrence Character because he's the only one who has some level of ethnicity, and Rich, in the middle of the back row, because he's the mild mannered one on a Sportster, is the natural for the William H. Macy character.  Eric on the right of the back row gets to be his own man in this since we don't have a character for him.  You will also note that all of us have torn sleeve shirts, while Rich, coming right from the office, is in a button down dress shirt.  I had warned him NOT to dress like a lawyer, but he did anyway.  Andre got out his pocket knife and we were going to slice off his sleeves, but Rich vetoed that idea.  So we saddled up and headed out into the country for a nice ride.

45 minutes later we pulled up at the City Hall Saloon.  Rich's first words were  "where the hell are we, are we still in Washington?", and second words were "I'm going to get in too much trouble here."   He tried to buy a t-shirt but the bar didn't have any for sale, and so we went in anyway for cheap tacos and drinks.

There were probably 100 bikes in the parking lot, and the large outdoor patio was filled to the rim with bikers.  90% of them with sleeveless shirts.  Rich at least had jeans on, but Andre again took out his knife to try and slice off Rich's sleeves but we weren't able to get him to hold still long enough.

After a few drinks, a few tacos, and much people watching, we decide to head back to Issaquah before it got too dark and there were too many drunk bikers on the road.   In Issaquah we all went our separate ways, and by the time I had gotten home there was an email from Rich saying "thanks, had a blast -- first thing I did when I got home was cut the sleeves off one of my old flannel shirts."  We'll make him a biker yet!


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