Tony came over to the house just before Elayne got there, and we had a nice reunion, wandering around the remodeled house that Elayne hadn't seen, and talking about how "we" decided on things like the fireplace, the paint, the countertops etc. This still is, and despite everything that's happened, very much "our" house. (See my post on that topic grgardner.livejournal.com/23303.html ) After going through the house, we needed to head to dinner and the movie, but first we stopped to see Tony's house. Elayne loved his place as well, but when we got to Tony's bedroom, on his nightstand, was a picture of the guy he's dating. Despite the fun we'd been having, seeing that picture really hit me hard. Then we all went off to dinner at Icon Grill downtown. Here is the three of us from Elayne's I-phone.
After dinner we went to a movie (The Wrestler - not a "happy little movie" by any means - you don't leave this one feeling good), then headed home. Tony dropped us off, said good night, and drove off. I think that moment was the hardest. All the memories, the stories, the laughter, were like the old times before I screwed up our relationship, and it felt so sad to see him drive off to his house as I walked in past the two carved bears with the heart that has carved in it "Gary and Tony".
The next morning we picked Tony up and went to Dim Sum and had another great time, and then dropped Elayne off and I dropped Tony off and came home to the empty house and to chores and errands -- the chores and errands we would have been doing together in the past. Once again I went from a happy moment to one of sadness. I again realized how much I missed "us". It seems I'm on that roller coaster a lot -- I want it to stop, and I have to wonder if it will.