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Managing To Live With Ghosts

 
The house I live in now I bought in 1997 after Tony pandabuff and I had been together a year.  I wanted us to have "our" house.  Over the years we've painted it and redone some of the rooms, and two years ago we underwent a major remodel tonyandgaryremodel.blogspot.com .  Now that we have gone our separate ways it's been very tough coming home from Olympia on the weekends.  The house is cold, dark, empty.  The dogs are gone.  Tony's stuff is gone.  However the ghosts of the past 12 years are still here.  The book I was reading on dealing with ending relationships said I should take down all the pictures, rearrange the furniture, and paint to make it "my" house.  Other than taking down the pictures, there isn't much I can or want to do to the house.  The ghosts are still here -- I suspect they always will be.  To me this is "our" house.  Tony's house that he bought last year is "his" house.  As I've come to realize that it's never going to be "our" house again - that the chance of "us" is practically non-existent, I've been thinking about selling the house.

Last week I had a squad of local real estate agents come through and develop a marketing plan for me.  It's not good. The economy is such now that while I'm not sideways at all on the house, and in no danger of that unless the economy gets significantly worse, this is no time to sell.  After paying real estate commissions and taxes on the sale, and paying off the current mortgage and HELOC, I would walk away with almost nothing at the end of the day.  Financially it makes absolutely no sense according to the broker, and believe it or not, they said that unless I absolutely had to sell, I shouldn't.   (Honesty from a real estate agent, can you believe it?  Maybe they just didn't want another house to have to try and sell in a dead market.)

Perhaps once the Legislative session is over and I'm back on more than just the weekends it won't seem so bad.  Maybe it will be worse.  I don't know.  Meanwhile, I'll have to learn to live with ghosts.  


Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
grgardner
Mar. 5th, 2009 05:02 am (UTC)
You are more then welcome to come out for a visit..;)
pangusk
Mar. 5th, 2009 04:57 am (UTC)
It's tough my friend, I live in the same community (2 blocks up) from where my ex and I used to live and it can be tough just being in the same area at times. Just have to realize that it takes time (sometimes awhile) before the healing process can begin, and be ok with it taking time. But know that it you will heal eventually, and this feeling doesn't perpetuate.

Hugs.
grgardner
Mar. 5th, 2009 05:03 am (UTC)
Thanks...:)
pangusk
Mar. 5th, 2009 05:32 am (UTC)
BTW, going to take me up on my offer one of these days? :)
metaljunkie
Mar. 5th, 2009 05:58 am (UTC)
Big hugs, buddy. I think once you are there for more than just the weekends, things will be better.
menace3
Mar. 5th, 2009 07:08 am (UTC)
I think once you are home, the vibe will be a little different. No one is living in it, so it's shell waiting to be filled. I know you may have similar tastes, but I think you should make small decorating changes.

And hey, I can come over on Friday and turn the lights on and a little heat, but I will not bark ; )
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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