Gary Gardner (grgardner) wrote,
Gary Gardner

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Managing To Live With Ghosts

The house I live in now I bought in 1997 after Tony pandabuff and I had been together a year.  I wanted us to have "our" house.  Over the years we've painted it and redone some of the rooms, and two years ago we underwent a major remodel .  Now that we have gone our separate ways it's been very tough coming home from Olympia on the weekends.  The house is cold, dark, empty.  The dogs are gone.  Tony's stuff is gone.  However the ghosts of the past 12 years are still here.  The book I was reading on dealing with ending relationships said I should take down all the pictures, rearrange the furniture, and paint to make it "my" house.  Other than taking down the pictures, there isn't much I can or want to do to the house.  The ghosts are still here -- I suspect they always will be.  To me this is "our" house.  Tony's house that he bought last year is "his" house.  As I've come to realize that it's never going to be "our" house again - that the chance of "us" is practically non-existent, I've been thinking about selling the house.

Last week I had a squad of local real estate agents come through and develop a marketing plan for me.  It's not good. The economy is such now that while I'm not sideways at all on the house, and in no danger of that unless the economy gets significantly worse, this is no time to sell.  After paying real estate commissions and taxes on the sale, and paying off the current mortgage and HELOC, I would walk away with almost nothing at the end of the day.  Financially it makes absolutely no sense according to the broker, and believe it or not, they said that unless I absolutely had to sell, I shouldn't.   (Honesty from a real estate agent, can you believe it?  Maybe they just didn't want another house to have to try and sell in a dead market.)

Perhaps once the Legislative session is over and I'm back on more than just the weekends it won't seem so bad.  Maybe it will be worse.  I don't know.  Meanwhile, I'll have to learn to live with ghosts.  


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